припомняне

в края на януари'09, в деня, в който летях от софия насам... се събудих с една песен, много отчетливо..
ето я: nina simone, feeling good

now what?

[Garden of Wishes, by Smadar Livne]

..
тази вечер в метрото седях 40 минути срещу реклама, в чийто център се мъдреше ето този въпрос: Now what?
голям, реален, безмилостен, и все пак предполагащ решение, предполагащ.. врата.

прибрах се и отворих книга. преписвам тук от нея. най-доброто, което мога да направя в момента.

"[..] in my sixty-plus years of living, way has never opened in front of me. .. But a lot of way has closed behind me, and that's had the same guiding effect.
..
There is as much guidance in what does not and cannot happen in my life as there is in what can and does - maybe more.
..
The opening may reveal our potentials while the closing may reveal our limits - two sides of the same coin, the coin called identity. In the spiritual domain, identity is coin of the realm, and we can learn much about our identity by examining either side of the coin.

As often happens on the spiritual journey, we have arrived at the heart of a paradox: each time a door closes, the rest of the world opens up. All we need to do is stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around - which puts the door behind us - and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls. The door that closed kept us from entering a room, but what now lies before us is the rest of reality."

Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak